Shark update

Australia is now surrounded by sharks and nobody can get in for least 24hrs.

Don't believe me, well I took these shots with me I Phone a few hours ago.



Here is the last photo of Bob and Jane on holidays looking through the famous Queensland glass bottom boat.

This was taken this morning from the small jetty near my place.



This photo was taken in the afternoon near my place.

Here is a shark that has been bitten by other sharks (they do get really hungry). This shark was about 10 metres long !



Here is a few shots of the rare Australian dentist shark.

Many sharks end up as fish n chips a popular snack for most Australians. This boy just ordered the fish.



This guy ordered the fish to go. (no chips)



Another tourist bites the dust

Vlad visits Australia for a spot of fishing. We are inpressed !

Australian Pet Crocodiles

Crocodiles have for many years been considered as pets by the general population. Early Australians have always treated them nicely and they have been nice in return. Tourists generally get eaten especially those from Europe. They seem to have a nice after taste.

Here is a tourist avoiding being on the menu.

Children love to play with the Crocs............

Always remember to walk them as they will get fat.

Take them for swim. Sometimes they are a bit reluctant to get into the water so just carry them and drop them.



Here we have a tourist writing a postcard home. Delicious.

Here is my a great Uncle with his girlfriend and their pet Croc.



Here is Auntie Lucy with her pet Croc.

Here is an old picture of me mum talking her Croc for a walk (taken on an early I Phone)

popey fiddle

I can't see any sexual abuse - it must not be happening.

The children of the World are safe thanks to the members of the church.




I might as well go back inside its too cold out here, any children who want to come inside to keep warm are most welcome Ha ha ha.




It is a shame he didn't say no much earlier !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





At last someone has arrested the bastard

We must never forget..........................

Born on June 2, 1933 in Strasbourg.
Last lived at 21, rue Rode, Bordeaux.
Destination: Auschwitz-Birkenau.

Poo shuts city beach

DARWIN'S artificial beach was yesterday closed to the public after scientists discovered faeces in the water.

Testing at the recreation lagoon found dangerous levels of the bacteria enterococci - which is commonly found in the intestines of humans.

The Poo Fairy or did someone drop a copy of the new Stephenie Meyer book into the water ?

Python pops out of 10th-floor toilet

A 1.8m BLACK-HEADED python has been found in a dunny bowl on the 10th floor of a posh Darwin apartment block.

It is not known how long the sneaky and "smelly'' snake had been travelling up and down the sewage pipes. But NT reptile wrangler Chris Peberdy rescued it on Sunday afternoon after the tenants of the Cullen Bay apartment got the shock of their lives when going to the dunny."When I saw it I was pretty shocked,'' Mr Peberdy said."It's one thing in the Territory to have a green frog in the dunny ... but not a six-foot python.'' "It would certainly scare you if it came up from the depths of the dunny.''

Mr Peberdy said there were no windows or other spaces that the snake -- which is "as thick as someone's wrist'' -- could have got into the duuny. "There is no possible other way it could have got there than through the dunny,'' Mr Peberdy said. "I had to give him a good wash as he was wet and a bit smelly.'' But it is not the first time he has had to rescue a snake from the dunny." About three years ago I had the same sort of thing ... an olive python had been living through the dunnys of a city apartment block on Daly St,'' he said."But it was never on the 10th floor.''

Ah Australia, just when you thought you might have a sit down and read the paper in your favourite spot. For those travelling through Australia I would not go to the dunny until you reach your destination and avoid putting your naked bum over the snake hole.

Mr Peberdy sent these photos to me just in case you were wondering what a Black Headed Python looks like - friendly little guy.

Malcolm McLaren RIP

"It's better to be a flamboyant failure than a benign success."

Airline Problems and More

The problem with Airlines is that they think they own the fucking skies. If I could afford it and had the time I would buy my own plane and teach myself to fly it.

Then would the neighbours complain if I flew home every night over their house? I would start up my own Blissfully Critical flyer's club where every fucking passenger (no not customer) could have free beer and food till it came out of their ass. You could stuff yourself silly between Sydney and Melbourne and yes we would take you home when you wanted to go and at the same price.

Yes we would let you use the planes toilet, you can bring as much carry on stuff as you can carry, isn't that the idea of carry on stuff ? If we loose your bags then you get free beer for the rest of your life, seats will be wide enough so that your legs won't be up your ass and in your face for the whole fucking flight.

The movies on the plane will be the original versions with the naughty bits still in them. You can choose to wear clothes if you like, everybody will have a window seat and the toilets will be big enough to turnaround in !!

An extensive menu will be made available to all passengers as well as Australian red and white wines.

Anyone demanding business or first class seats will be tossed from the plane in mid flight along with their laptops, suits and shinny shoes. Smoking will be allowed fucking everywhere including on the wings after landing where an after flight party will occur at every airport.

Why you ask do I rave on ? Well get a load of the following !!

Sally, a flight attendant with a major US airline, and Brian (not their real names), a Sydney-based flight attendant tell us the industry’s best kept-secrets - in their own words.

Food that has fallen on the floor may end up on your plate
Sally: “Once a whole food carrier crashed on the galley floor during takeoff because the flight attendant had not checked the latches. We had to scramble to salvage what meals we could that had fallen on the galley floor.”

Brian: “The tap water onboard isn't recommended for drinking. The water tanks onboard planes are hardly ever changed or serviced and I can guarantee you the water isn't triple-layer-filtered or processed in any fancy way like that.“Here in Australia it’s not the law to provide drinking water onboard aircraft, so if you're flying low-cost, be prepared to buy water onboard or bring your own. I for one have been flying for a while now and I don't even brush my teeth with the tap water.”

Our toilets are only cleaned properly once a day
Brian: “If you're flying domestically within Australia, most of the time the toilets are only superficially cleaned throughout the day with only one deep clean at night once the aircraft terminates. So please wear some form of footwear when you visit the loo on your flight.”

Our luggage scales often lie
“Airport luggage scales are often incorrect. However it is a legal requirement for them to show you the scale so my two cents worth of advice is just to make sure the scale says 0.00kg before you plonk your bags on them,” Brian said.

You may not end up flying with the airline you booked your ticket with
Sally: “What I find is annoying for passengers is they book what they think is a flight with a major airline but they end up on a connection (regional jet) flight, which often have poor on-time rates. It's embarrassing to be associated with them, but the passengers just think it’s the major airline’s fault because that's what their ticket says.”

The seat you booked may not be the one you end up with
Brian: “Seating on an aircraft is all depending on passenger zones for weight and balance issues. Each zone has to have the right number of persons or the aircraft won’t be balanced on take-off, and we all know the consequences of that. This is also why sometimes at the boarding gate, ground agents will assign you a new boarding pass with a different seat number because of the weight imbalance.”

You may not be informed of a problem with our aircraft or an emergency situation
Brian: “There are times where there could be an issue with the aircraft but it is still completely airworthy where passengers are not informed and they would be none the wiser. There was once I was flying on an aircraft with a pressurization issue so we just flew at a lower altitude. Passengers weren't informed and no one asked questions.”

Sally: “One time we had a bomb threat on a domestic flight, late at night. We did not inform the passengers. Apparently they (the authorities) did not think it a very credible threat. We landed away from the terminal and were bussed in. We told them there was a problem with the aircraft and that's why we landed where we did.”

Our planes are not as new as you may think
Brian: “Some planes can indeed be very old and here in Australia one particular airline does operate many old aircraft. Most of them are airworthy but it all depends on the maintenance of the plane.”

Our crew are often exhausted
Brian: “Crew fatigue is a very big issue at the moment, especially in the domestic and regional operations in Australia. We work long hours in a harsh dry environment with some airlines working their cabin crew up to 16 hours a day. Our main reason for being on planes is obviously for safety, however if we're too fatigued then we're not much use if an evacuation becomes necessary.”

Sally: “You reach a point where you are so tired, you are numb. To stay awake, you just drink anything with caffeine and try to keep going.”

We may run out of food
Brian: “Catering does tend to be scarce on a terminating flight especially when it comes to perishables, mainly because stocks are depleted in catering itself and it also avoids wastage as no perishables are stored.”

You may end up freezing if you’re not prepared
Brian: “During late night flights aircraft temperature drops significantly. Most of the time this is done intentionally because if it’s nice, warm and cosy people get too comfortable in their sleep and don't move around as much which would in a worst case scenario cause deep vein thrombosis.“We tend to get the most medical situations on night flights because of people collapsing as they get up after hours of sitting upright and sleeping. The best way to get around it is to firstly check whether or not the airline you're flying with supplies their passengers with blankets. If not, make sure to pack a light blanket or wear a nice warm jumper.”

Our cabin air may make you sick
Brian: “Cabin air may not be the best but it isn't recycled air as everyone makes it out to be… if you're on a long flight, to avoid looking like a prune at the end of it, be sure to bring moisturizer with you and moisturize every inch of your body.”

OTHER AIRLINE LIES AND MISADVENTURES

Continental Airlines crew kept PASSENGERS unaware of the death of the pilot mid-flight.
The 60-year-old Continental Airlines captain died from a heart attack and two co-pilots safely landed the plane, with the 247 passengers only finding out what really happened on the ground.


Witnesses of mid-flight deaths have told of bodies being placed on first-class seats
In 2007 British Airways angered first-class passenger Paul Trinder, who said he woke up on a flight to find cabin crew had placed a corpse in his row without saying a word.
“The stewards just plonked the body down without saying a thing. I remember looking at this frail, sparrow-like woman and thinking she was very ill,” Mr Trinder told The Times Online.

The body of a woman who died while travelling on an American Airlines plane from New York to Haiti last year was moved to the first-class section and covered with a blanket after she was pronounced dead by a doctor onboard. The flight continued.

Flight attendants move the body
Former London flight attendant Mrs Meho said there’s little cabin crew can do with a corpse, so the priority is to place the body out of sight.
“We make the body comfortable," Mrs Meho said.
"Either that means taking it somewhere discreet or lying the body flat and covering with a blanket. If there are not seats we 'prop' the body up.”

Another ex-flight attendant, known as Sharon, said she was instructed to carry on as if the person had just passed out.
“We can place them (bodies) anywhere, but not a lavatory," Sharon said.

"We are also given the option of putting an oxygen mask on the person and simply saying they didn't feel well, even if we were sure they had gone to meet their maker.”

Interestingly, some airlines keep body bags onboard, and Singapore Airlines has also reportedly introduced “corpse cupboards” on its Airbus 340-500 aircraft for use when there is no empty row of seats to place a corpse

TIGER Airways has refused to rule out charging for carry-on luggage after US-based Spirit Airlines became the first to slug passengers for the privilege

When security takes longer than the flight
TO get through airport security in Toronto for a flight to the United States, you now have to go through eight different screening lines or ID checks. Most passengers either get a pat-down or have their carry-on bags unpacked on tables, with every toiletry kit and pajama pair carefully checked

Kirsten Moro's laptop left on Jetstar plane is found by airline then stolen
KIRSTEN Moro left her laptop on a Jetstar plane. Jetstar found it but it was stolen before reaching Lost Property.

Ryanair to charge passengers to pee
The Irish airline is planning to make its toilets coin-operated, forcing passengers to fork out $1.65 and $1.44 every time they want to spend a penny in the sky."That will enable us to remove two out of three of the toilets and make way for at least six extra seats.''


UK budget airline food ripping off passengers
BUDGET airlines in the UK are charging passengers sky-high prices to eat as they fly
For example, a packet of Pringles crisps selling for $1.21 in a supermarket goes for $3.30 on the airline Monarch, according to the survey. In another instance, a sandwich that costs around $3.30 in a supermarket and $4 at an airport costs as much as $7.22 on low-fare airline Ryanair and $6.50 on Flybe.

Jetstar says mum can't fly with twins
JETSTAR has been forced to issue a refund to a young mother who was told she couldn't fly with her twin daughters.
Aimee Moutray turned up at Auckland International Airport, New Zealand, with her 18-month-old twins Arliyah and Janade on Monday only to be told the girls were not allowed on the flight. Jetstar’s website states that passengers wishing to travel with more than one infant must phone customer services for assistance, and Ms Moutray complied.

Ryanair passengers 'abandoned' on wrong island
AN Airline has been accused of abandoning passengers on the wrong holiday island.
A Ryanair flight to Lanzarote, in the Canary Islands, was forced to land on the neighbouring island of Fuerteventura during a thunderstorm.
When arriving at the airport, around 120 passengers claim they were left ‘stranded’ to organise their own accommodation and travel plans with no word from the airline.


Ryanair charge emergency check-in fee
From today all passengers travelling with low-cost airline Ryanair will have to pay $9 to check in their luggage. But anyone who forgets will be hit with the emergency check-in fee and forced to use the airline's new "bag drop" desks.

FAT Tax on obese fliers
The survey, conducted by flight experts Skyscanner, comes after Air France was accused of launching a new fee for obese fliers, reigniting the debate over whether airlines should penalise larger passengers.
In April last year UK airline Ryanair announced it was considering ways to charge excess weight fees for obese fliers and more than 30,000 passengers voted in favour of such charges

Pay extra or sit near the toilet
AIRLINE passengers could be forced to sit near the toilet if they don't pay for a premium seat when they book their ticket.

Continental Airlines to charge for extra legroom
CONTINENTAL Airlines, the No. 4 US airline, will charge customers for seats with extra legroom on its flights worldwide starting March 17.


Passenger charged $80 for exit row seat
GETTING an exit row seat will cost flyers extra if they choose to fly Virgin Atlantic Airways. New York commodities trader David Stewart learned last week that he would have to pay $80 if he chose to sit in an exit-row aisle seat on a Virgin Atlantic flight, the New York Times reported

Millions of US passengers fly on unsafe planes
65,000 flights not fit for take off
Repairs by unaccredited mechanics

US airlines permitted at least 65,000 flights with millions of passengers on planes that were not fit for takeoff over the past six years. USA Today reported today after a six-month investigation that flights were allowed to take off after problems ranging from damaged rudders to faulty engines were subject to substandard repairs by unaccredited mechanics or simply went unreported or unchecked.

Airline sorry for Holocaust fashion shoot
Holocaust fashion shoot causes outrage
easyJet forced to apologise over incident
Withdraws 300,000 copies of magazine for printing photographs of models posing at Berlin's Holocaust memorial in its inflight magazine.

Film director Kevin Smith booted off Southwest Airlines flight for being fat
SELF-DESCRIBED "way fat" director Kevin Smith was booted from a US budget airline flight because of his size, according to his minute-by-minute tweets. Smith, the millionaire director and writer of Clerks and Zack and Miri Make a Porno was thrown off the Southwest Airline's Boeing 737 late Saturday night in Oakland, California, because the captain deemed him a "flight risk," Smith tweeted.


"Hey @SouthwestAir? F**k making it right for me just 'cause I have a platform. I sat next to a big girl who was chastised for not buying an extra ticket because "all passengers deserve their space." F**king flight wasn't even full! F**k your size-ist policy. Rude...," he tweeted in quick succession.

Not enough passengers, you don't fly
JETSTAR has told passengers not to rely on being able to fly on the date their flight is booked.
As stories came in about cancelled flights last week between Darwin and Bali, the latest in a long series of troubles for travellers, the airline admitted it sometimes cancels flights "for commercial reasons", the Northern Territory News reports.

Child directs traffic at major airport
AN investigation is under way after a child was heard giving instructions to a pilot from the air-traffic control tower at one of America's busiest airports, reports say.
In a recording that has been confirmed as genuine by the Federal Aviation Administration, the child makes five transmissions - with the pilots in each case all responding enthusiastically to him, MyFox National reports.


Airline 'sorry' for kicking kid off flight
AN airline has apologised to a mother who was kicked off a plane with her "noisy" two-year-old son.
Southwest Airlines spokesman Chris Mainz told MSNBC that the airline has called Pamela Root to apologise, and also offered her a refund and a $300 travel voucher.
Mr Mainz said 38-year-old Mrs Root was removed from the flight to San-Jose, US, because passengers could not hear pre-flight safety announcements.


Northwest pilots deny sleeping past Minneapolis
The Northwest pilots who blew 240km past Minneapolis this past week insist a clandestine snooze isn't to blame for their goof at 37,000 feet (11,300 meters). "Nobody fell asleep in the cockpit," first officer Richard I Cole said.


Traffic controller chatting when aircraft crashed
AUTHORITIES have removed from duty an air traffic controller who they say was talking on the phone during last weekend's deadly mid-air collision over New York's Hudson River, along with a supervisor who was out of the building at the time.

Airline takes toilet etiquette to new heights
JAPAN'S All Nippon Airways, which has asked passengers to visit the toilet before boarding to help the environment, said it will fit its jets with a women-only lavatory.
ANA will introduce one female-only toilet per aircraft on international flights next month after a survey of women fliers identified it as the second most attractive service they wished for after being offered desserts.

American Airlines to chargefor pillows and blankets
American Airlines will follow a lead set by jet Blue Airways, and start charging for bedding from May, Sky News reported.Economy passengers will pay $8 for the pillow and blanket pack on some American Airlines flights over two hours, but first class passengers would still get the bedding bale free of charge.

Things that will get you kicked off a plane

Attempting to join the mile-high club
A flight between Las Vegas and Seattle was diverted in 2007 after passengers spotted a couple getting intimate mid-flight. The couple was allegedly “messing around” in the seats before taking the action to the bathroom. They were escorted off the plane after arguing with flight attendants.
Sniffing fellow passengers
Two men had to be removed from a flight between Dallas and Vegas last year due to their bizarre response to a woman’s perfume.“The passengers smelled a ladies perfume, liked it and proceeded to lean over their seats and press their noses against her neck to smell it more. It was unreal,” flight attendant Bobby Laurie, from a major US airline, said.

Discussing which is the safest seat
A Muslim family was removed from an AirTran flight last month after passengers heard them discussing the safest place to sit and misconstrued the nature of the conversation.
The family was cleared of any wrongdoing but the airline refused to rebook them.

Sky-high breast feeding
A woman filed a complaint against Delta Air Lines and Freedom Airlines in 2006 claiming she was kicked off a plane because she was breast-feeding her baby.

Being too sexy to fly
A Hooters employee became the centre of attention on a Southwest flight when a crew member threatened to remove her due to her “skimpy” outfit.
Wearing a tight-fitting white top, green sweater and a white denim mini-skirt, Kyla Ebbert was desperate to remain on the flight and negotiated with the crew by offering to pull her top up and skirt down, and she was allowed to stay.

Surpise Surpise its Sir Dickie with Kyla Ebbert

Reading porn
A man was thrown off a Nationwide Airlines flight in 2005 after a row over his right to read porn on the plane. A flight attendant told passenger AC Hoffman to put the pornographic magazine away but he refused.

Having poor personal hygiene
A German man was chucked off a plane in Honolulu, US, back in 2006 for being excessively smelly. Fellow passengers had complained to the crew about his offensive body odour.
He tried to sue the airline but the case was thrown out.


Asking for water
A simple request for water resulted in a man being booted off a plane at La Guardia Airport, US. Mitchell Roslin said the water was for his wife, who was seven month pregnant. The cabin had overheated after the Spirit Airlines plane experienced engine trouble. Mr Roslin was told it was “against corporate policy” to give out water before the plane took off.
He was asked to leave the plane, and his wife and two children got off with him.

Having a coughing fit
A teenage girl who caught a cold during a school trip was kicked off her flight home because she was coughing. Rachel Collier was removed from the Continental Airlines plane, which was flying between New Jersey and Honolulu, US, when the captain became concerned about her coughing fit.

Flying with a cuddly crocodile
A woman found herself in hot water when she refused to move her metre-long cuddly toy crocodile, which the crew said was blocking the emergency exit. She was removed from the Ryanair flight, which was flying between Rome and Milan in 2007.

Wearing a rude T-shirt
A US woman was forced to leave a Southwest Airlines flight due to her “offensive” T-shirt. Featuring pictures of George Bush and friends, Lorrie Heasley’s T-shirt had a slogan based on the film Meet the Fockers – with one crucial vowel altered.

Flying with an autistic son
A mother and her autistic boy were kicked off an American Eagle flight at Raleigh-Durnham Airport, US. The two-and-a-half-year old was upset and could not be calmed down by his mother, so the pilot deemed him “uncontrollable” and removed them.

Chucking a hissy fit
A man was taken off a flight after becoming enraged and slapping his wife. The passenger became angered when told he wouldn’t be able to sit next to his wife. “He started screaming and throwing items. When his wife tried to call him down, he slapped her. And it all started out with "Don't you know who I am?" Shelby, who has been a flight attendant for a major US airline since 2001, said.He spent the night in gaol, but his wife was allowed to fly home.

Tiger Airways passengers stranded in Hobart for three days
TIGER Airways has defended its handling of a flight cancellation that saw some passengers stranded in Hobart for three days. Tiger Airways consumer communications manager Vanessa Regan said the Hobart to Melbourne flight was cancelled when a cabin crew member suddenly fell ill and required emergency medical treatment.

Drunk pilot arrested before flight
POLICE have arrested a pilot at London's Heathrow Airport for being drunk before he was about to fly. Captain Joseph Crites, 57, was held as he boarded the American Airlines flight from London to Chicago with 204 passengers onboard. He subsequently failed a breathalyser test, the Daily Mail reports.


Qantas plane in tail strike drama
A QANTAS plane flying from Sydney to Melbourne with 120 passengers on board was forced to turn back after suffering a tail strike on take-off on Monday.

Mysterious toilet blockages plague Cathay flights
CATHAY Pacific has announced it is fitting its Airbus fleet with new pipes following toilet blockage problems on three planes, with one packed flight forced to make an unscheduled landing because it had no working lavatory. Toilets on the Hong Kong airline's Airbus A330 and A340 planes have been blocked in three separate incidents over the past 11 days, Cathay spokeswoman Carolyn Leung said, confirming a report by the South China Morning Post.


United Airlines refuse to fly mobile phone passenger
UNITED AIRLINES refused to embark a US citizen at a Paris airport, a day after he was taken off a flight for using a mobile phone, sources close to the investigation said. A fight broke out on a the US airline's flight to Washington on Tuesday when the 20-year-old passenger refused to stop using his phone shortly after takeoff.

Plane downed by leaking loo
AN American Airlines jet has made an emergency landing at Maine's Bangor Airport in the northeastern United States. French state radio reported the Boeing 757, en route from New York JFK to Paris, developed a technical problem soon after take-off when a water leak in one of the jet's toilets led to a build-up of ice.


Jetstar refuses to allow guide dog on flight
Jetstar - a legally blind passenger was refused a booking because of her guide dog,


Jetstar bars disabled passenger
Jetstar apologises, changes procedures after forcing paralympian Kurt Fearnley out of his wheelchair

Plane hits bushpig on take-off
AN airline has been criticised for not knowing what to do after one of its planes hit a bushpig on take-off. The Air Zimbabwe's MA60 jet was bound for the western city of Bulawayo but crashed after hitting the pig as it ran on to the runway.

Plane misses runway, lands in lava
A PLANE has landed on hardened lava after overshooting a runway in eastern Congo, injuring 20 people Passengers onboard the plane, which was flying from Kinshasa to Goma, warned the crew of heavy clouds before the incident, United Nations-run Radio Okapi reports.

Plane veers off the runway on takeoff
A PLANE carrying 165 passengers veered off a runway after the pilot was forced to abort the takeoff. The Air Berlin Boeing 737-800 was forced off the runway in wintry conditions in Dortmund Airport, Germany, after the pilot discovered a "technical irregularity".

Engine cover falls from JetBlue plane in flight
A PORTION of an engine cover has fallen off a JetBlue plane shortly after it took off from Newark Liberty International Airport


Drunk man found in engine of Indian Airlines Airbus
AN ALLEGEDLY drunk man was found in a commercial jet engine as it was being prepared for take-off. The man was only spotted when an engineering and security team member saw a leg dangling from the rear of the engine at Indira Gandhi International Airport (IGI) in Delhi.


Another Qantas drama as tyres burst on landing at Sydney Airport
FLAMES shot out from the undercarriage of a Qantas A380 last night when its two nose wheel tyres burst as it landed at Sydney Airport - the second emergency involving the airline in the past 48 hours


Cracked windshield grounds Qantas plane
A QANTAS plane has been grounded after its windshield began to crack during a flight between Los Angeles and Melbourne.

Family sues American Airlines over great-grandmother's death
THE family of a gravely ill 74-year-old great-grandmother sued American Airlines, alleging the cabin crew caused her death. According to Alicia Marassa's family, during a flight from New York City to Argentina the cabin crew ignored her after she fell ill on the plane, the New York Post reported.

Cockroaches take over first class
A PASSENGER was horrified to learn that a colony of cockroaches discovered in the first class section of her plane was behind an extensive delay. Alissa Kempler, a passenger on an American Airlines flight from Miami to Washington, US, earlier this month revealed details of the creepy situation to W-USA Channel 9 news. Ms Kempler said she was told by a flight attendant “there are roaches on the plane”.

Passenger tries to open door of United Airlines plane
A UNITED Airlines flight was diverted to Denver International Airport (DIA) after a passenger attempted to open an exterior door in mid-air. The plane had been travelling from Washington Dulles International Airport to Las Vegas but landed safely at DIA just after 5 p.m, the Denver Post reported.

Air Canada flight cancelled due to giant rat on plane
HUNDREDS of passengers were ordered off a plane bound for London from Ottawa moments before it was due to take off after a huge rat was discovered on board. The Boeing 767 was waiting to taxi down the runway when a passenger spotted the rodent in an overhead locker, The Sun reports.


Flight attendant falls from plane on tarmac
A QANTAS flight attendant has fallen from a plane and hit the tarmac while shutting the doors before take-off at an airport near Uluru. The flight attendant was trying to close the doors of the plane when she stumbled and fell at Yulara airport, Northern Territory Police Superintendent Bob Harrison told ABC Radio.

Jet evacuation as smoke fills cabin
AN Air Canada jet carrying 98 passengers called in an emergency for a "mechanical problem" after landing at the Toronto international airport on Tuesday, an official said. "The plane was met by emergency responders at about 9 am this morning (on the tarmac). Passengers disembarked the plane on chutes and were bused to the terminal building," an airport authority spokesperson said.


Muslim women refuse airport body scan
TWO Muslim women have become the first passengers to refuse to subject themselves to controversial "nude'' full body airport scans in Britain. The pair - who security officials insist were selected at random - opted to miss their flight to Pakistan and forfeit tickets worth $670 each. One of the women refused to go through the full-body scanner at Manchester Airport on religious grounds, while her companion declined for "medical reasons''.


South Africa Airline in price-fixing probe
SOUTH Africa's Competition Commission has raided the offices of national airline SAA and its low cost carrier in a probe into possible World Cup price-fixing. In March, SAA and its partners SA Airlink and SA Express denied that they had colluded with other airlines to hike prices during the football World Cup.

Flight crew arrested over drugs in baggage
FIFTEEN South African Airways employees have been arrested after five kilos of cocaine were found in a bag, the second such incident in less than a month. The crew members were arrested after UK Border Agency officers discovered the drugs at Heathrow Airport.

Passenger arrested over bomb joke
A UK man was arrested on suspected terror charges after airing his frustration at air travel delays on social networking site Twitter. When Robin Hood Airport near Sheffield, northern England was closed Jan. 6 due to terrible weather conditions Paul Chambers joked on his Twitter page, "Robin Hood airport is closed. You've got a week and a bit to get your shit together, otherwise I'm blowing the airport sky high!!" The Independent newspaper reported.
However South Yorkshire police force took Chambers’ joke to be a threat, and arrested him a week later on suspicion of communicating a bomb hoax under the U.K.’s Criminal Law Act 1977.

Mouse reported to be on board a Delta Air Lines flight to London for second time in month
"LADIES and gentleman don't press the alarm button and remain in your seats - there's a mouse on board." A Delta Air Lines flight at New York's John F Kennedy International Airport bound for Heathrow Airport in London was delayed after someone reported seeing a mouse in the cabin.The 147 passengers had waited for about half an hour for Flight 001 to leave the gate when a crew member announced that the mouse sighting meant the plane would have to be cleared.
The passengers were escorted off the Boeing 767 and booked on another airplane, Carlos Santos, a Delta spokesman told the New York Times.


British Airways flight forced to do U-turn
A British Airways plane flying from London to Mexico was forced to do a U-turn over the Atlantic after concerns about a passenger on board. Amid tightened security following the failed Detroit bombing in December, the flight carrying 318 passengers returned to London's Heathrow airport after a "data discrepancy'' involving a US passenger, BA said.

Airlines busted for dodgy ticket deals
FIFTEEN airlines and 22 internet sites selling airline tickets online continue to dupe consumers with misleading offers, despite a European Commission "health check," according to a study published today. As a result of an EU "enforcement investigation'' started in September 2007 - with 15 EU national authorities and Norway - 115 airline websites out of the 137 websites investigated have been corrected.

Take a leaf from Sir Dickie and transport passengers personally.